There's No Biting on Tuesdays - Part 5 (The Anniversary)

A mini series about losing my beloved dog and getting a new puppy.

Willow at 22 weeks

Tomorrow will be one year since I lost Hadley and I've had a chance to gather my thoughts. She was my first dog so everything about the process, including losing her and getting another, is new for me. The decision was not an easy one and I passed up several opportunities during the year to have another dog. But I felt like I would know when it was right and I needed time to make sense of all my feelings.

I missed Hadley so damn much. But I also missed having a dog. Having Willow does not help with the first part at all, no matter what I hoped. But she does fix the second part. Before getting her, I had gone out of my way to pet every dog I met but it didn't fill the void. The first time I held Willow in my arms, though, knowing she was mine, I sobbed.

I debated different breeds, colors, etc. But none of them moved my heart and I knew I wouldn't be happy without another Cavalier. I had some concerns about choosing another Blenheim colored girl like Hadley but in the end it was not an issue. While I appreciate that to everyone else in the world they probably look identical, the two look totally different to me. They also do not act the same. Cavvies are sweet and friendly and both were and are. But apart from that, they have quite different personalities. I have had to get to know Willow the way I once got to know Hadley.

I still think about Hadley almost every day. And I still cry over her. Time and the need to chase after a rambunctious young puppy have lessened the tears but they still come.

Puppyhood is hard. I'd wondered if raising my second would be easier now that I had some experience. Possibly, in the sense that I have timelines down a little better. But in the end, puppies are hard. I had suggested to my vet, who has taken both these journeys with me, that Hadley was an easier puppy. He assured me that 15 years have erased my memory of how terrible she was as a pup. And I know he's right. But it was worth it then and it will be worth it now.

One of the last photos I have of Hadley, taken a couple of weeks after her 14th birthday and about 6 weeks before she passed. Her sweet face was so gray.

So, in the end am I happy I did it again? Yes, absolutely. Willow is a sweet, happy, affectionate puppy and she will grow up to be a wonderful companion. I can sense it. And for all the times I've been frustrated that she keeps peeing on the floor, when she climbs into my lap, puts her paws around my neck and her head on my shoulder, it fills my heart again.

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There's No Biting on Tuesdays - Part 4 (The Land Shark)

A mini series about losing my beloved dog and getting a new puppy.

Part 4: The Land Shark

Although I knew that a 9 week old Cavalier puppy would weigh between 4 and 5 lbs., the photos made Willow look somewhat substantial. But the baby I took out of the carrier when I got her home was tiny and precious. She couldn't have been 5" tall at the shoulders and looked like a stuffed toy.

But this innocent baby was a land shark. She couldn't move an inch without sinking her puppy fangs into fingers, toes, shoes, furniture and anything else that was in her path of destruction. My first puppy nipped, as all puppies do. But was otherwise not a particularly destructive dog. Willow was pure chaos right from the start. I couldn't take my eyes off her for a second because she was capable of doing a lot of damage in a remarkably short period of time. She didn't nip, she bit. Hard. She even drew blood. And when I put her in her pen, as trainers advise, she destroyed it. She'd shred her pee pads, rip her bed and turn over her food and water bowls. My nickname for her was Jaws. Holy hell, what have I gotten myself into?

I provided teething rings, stuffed toys, Kongs and bully sticks to no avail. They distracted her for a short while but then she'd go right back to chewing the stuffing out of the sofa. I sprayed bitter apple on everything but it didn't slow her down at all. It took me 2 months to teach her soft mouth so that at least my fingers and toes were safe. Nothing else is safe yet but she's learned not to use those razor blade baby teeth on me. The sofa still gets bites but I get kisses.

And the name of this series - there's no biting on Tuesdays? To keep myself sane, as I was redirecting her bites, withholding my attention to her when she bit and rewarding her for kisses, I would tell her, there is no biting on Mondays (or Tuesday or Wednesdays, etc.) Now, when she sometimes forgets and I feel her teeth graze me, I tell her, there's no biting on Tuesdays, and she immediately licks instead of bites.

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There's No Biting on Tuesdays - Part 3 (The Journey)

A mini series about losing my beloved dog and getting a new puppy.

Part 3: The Journey

The logistics of getting Willow here nearly broke my faith that this was meant to be. Hadley's breeder was located only about 2 hours away from us. Willow's breeder would not have been much further except for the move to South Carolina. They're in a small town, not close to a major airport. That would mean both flights and car rentals and I am a New York City girl who is not comfortable driving. I asked around and was referred to a flight nanny who flies that route and was asking a reasonable price to transport Willow. Done. Except suddenly not done. She had to work and then booked a vacation and her new schedule meant a month delay.

Thus began an odyssey into the world of pet transports. There are plenty of them and almost all gave me the ick. The few that didn't, wanted way more money than my initial budget. I began planning early and spent many hours on it. And I spent a lot of sleepless nights worrying that this was ill fated, that this level of difficulty was an omen that it was not meant to be at all.

And then a friend who lives in Florida suggested that her adult daughter might be up for this adventure. We spoke and, sure enough, Kady was happy to transport Willow. She said she preferred to drive and asked for approximately the same amount I'd already planned on with the original flight nanny. The giant boulder sitting on my chest rolled off.

At 9:00 am on the morning of the pickup, my phone dinged. Kady had turned on her location tracker and I watched her pull into the breeder's address. I literally cried. About 30 minutes later her car began heading north and shortly after I began receiving photos of Willow making the journey to her new home.

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There's No Biting on Tuesdays - Part 2 (The Waiting)

A mini series about losing my beloved dog and getting a new puppy.

Part 2: The Waiting

I had imagined that I would be a much calmer future puppy mom as I was expecting my second. The constant worry and check-ins of the first would not be me anymore. HA! Panic would set in quickly over literally everything.

I signed the breeder's contract and did a bank transfer of the deposit. They said they would co-sign and put the contract in the mail. Two weeks went by and I hadn't received it so panic began. Were they legit? Was I being scammed? But a few days later, the contract I signed online along with the breeder's signature and all the information we discussed were in my mailbox.

Another few days and I begin to worry that I hadn't actually spoken to the breeder in a while. Was there something they were not telling me?? The following weekend an email arrived detailing the pickup arrangements and offering helpful tips to prepare for a new puppy. A couple of days later they called to chat, see how I was feeling, wanting to be sure I knew how difficult puppies can be. I assured them I am now an experienced puppy mom and was looking forward to the work. I'm an idiot, by the way.

A week before pickup, Willow now 8 weeks old, I wondered if I would even recognize the pretty 4 week old I'd chosen. Would it even be the same puppy? What if something happened to that particular puppy? Some of you are thinking I should be medicated at this point and I can't disagree.  And then an email arrived with updated photos and I recognized her immediately by the shape of her brown markings. My pretty 4 week old turned into a pretty 8 week old. I was in love.

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There's No Biting on Tuesdays

Hadley

Taking a break in my cooking to start a little mini series about losing my beloved dog and getting a new puppy. Mostly for me to get my feelings out but I hope the words resonate with some of you as well. When I got my first ever dog, 15 years ago, I kept a puppy blog (long since abandoned) for the first year of her life. I was endlessly fascinated with how she grew from week to week but it was also the place I got to express my fears and frustrations with raising a puppy. I didn't promote it or expect anyone to read it. But a few lovely people found it and reached out to express similar feelings. There are more social platforms now and blogs are less popular. But, again, this is mostly for me. If you're following along on the new journey, I'd love to hear from you.

Part 1: Hadley, Winter and Willow

In June of 2007, we brought home my first ever pet, a beautiful 8 week old Cavalier. We'd met her when she was only 6 days old and the wait time for her to finish nursing and be ready for her new home was torture. We named her Hadley, after a character in our favorite TV show, and I was prepared with a ton of research on raising puppies. Those of you that have raised puppies probably know it didn't take long before I began to wonder if I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. Puppies are hard, people! So damn hard. We got through it, though. She grew up to be the most amazing dog and she had my whole heart. I lost her a year ago, at age 14 (geriatric for Cavaliers) and my heart shattered.

I cried multiple times a day, for months. I'm crying now just remembering her. I missed her so much but also missed having a dog. I realized I'd want another one but had no idea when I'd be ready. I said I would let fate decide. Many months later, I was just as miserable. I'd reached out to a few breeders, even had some offers of available pups, but I wasn't ready. Later, when I finally began researching breeders in earnest (Hadley's breeder was no longer available), I narrowed it down to two that came with excellent references. One invited me to put myself on her waiting list for a spring litter. The other, with whom I'd filled out a website form, had not yet responded. I decided I would join the wait list for the spring litter which would mean a puppy by mid-summer. I was OK waiting.

I quietly made plans, placed puppy items on my Amazon wish list and wrote a list of things I'd need when the time came, still in no rush. Two things I knew with absolute certainty was that I wanted another girl and that her name would be Winter. Why? Hadley's mother's name was Winter and I thought it was a great name, not common, and a way to honor my late dog, even if they were not related.

Not long after the new year, I received a phone call from the other breeder on my list, whose form I had filled out but had not heard from. Apologies but they had just moved from my home state of New York down to South Carolina and things got hectic. But a litter was born not long after they moved and she'd seen that I wrote about losing my dog and wanting a girl. There were 3 girls in the litter and the move meant they'd not had a chance to start a wait list. All 3 girls were available and would be ready to come home by the end of February. 

In truth, I was uncertain because it was months sooner than I'd now planned and the change of state would make bringing her home more difficult. But the breeder and I spoke for a long time and I liked her. She said the babies were too young to really see differences in their appearance so she was going to wait a month before taking their photos. But, if I wanted to see their mother, her photo was on their website. Her name is Winter.

Winter?? Clearly not Hadley's mother who is no longer alive but another mom with such an uncommon name? I ran to the website to look at her and saw a sweet, gentle face. I told the breeder to go ahead and send me their photos when she was ready. A month later, I received an email with photos of 3 beautiful little girls.

Willow

I had said I'd let fate decide. I wanted some kind of sign to let me know when it would be right. Years ago, on the exact day we decided to go ahead with finding a puppy was the day that Hadley was born. I took it as a sign. And now here was another. One of Winter's babies was meant for me. My only problem is that I could no longer name her Winter. But I wanted to keep a W name to honor both the sweet mamas named Winter. I named her Willow.

Chocolate Covered Cherry Martini

It doesn't have to be Valentine's Day to drink a chocolate cocktail. And you definitely don't need to drink it out of a heart shaped glass. Kind of impractical anyway because there's no way to drink it without a straw. But all that being said, it's totally fun and so delicious.

This is definitely one of those drinks that looks harmless but is actually quite potent because almost every ingredient is alcoholic. That's also part of the fun, though, depending on who you're drinking it with. Unlike typical chocolate martinis, this one has a good amount of cherry flavor from the Luxardo, a wonderful maraschino cherry liquor. If you're a fan of chocolate covered cherries then you'll be a fan of this drink.

Do you have to serve it with a chocolate covered cherry garnish? No but, also, yes because it's both beautiful and tasty. So snuggle up with someone you love, or like a lot, and make a couple of these. Cheers!

Chocolate Covered Cherry Martini

Yield: 2

Author: Anita Schecter

Prep time: 12 MinTotal time: 12 Min

A vodka cocktail recipe that includes chocolate liqueur, creme de cacao and maraschino cherry liqueur, garnished with with a chocolate covered cherry.

Ingredients

• 4 oz. Vodka
• 2 oz. Chocolate liqueur
• 2 oz. Creme de cacao
• 2 oz. Cherry liqueur
• 4 oz. Half and half
• Cherries for garnish
• Melted chocolate for garnish

Instructions

1. Add the vodka, chocolate liqueur, creme de cacao, cherry liqueur and half and half to a cocktail shaker. Fill with ice, shake well and pour into two chilled cocktail glasses.
2. Melt chocolate chips in the microwave, dip maraschino cherries into the chocolate and refrigerate for a couple of minutes to set. Use to garnish the glasses.